woooooooossah

Okay Okay. I admit it. After my big rant yesterday, I ended up cooking dinner a couple of hours later. I know. I'm a softy. sigh. I don't rage very often. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year. But when I do, I KNOW I am channeling my dad.

He was a rager. But it was almost daily, and it would be over something like a misunderstanding, a spoon on the counter, or maybe NOTHING.

I talked to the boys after it was all said and done. I told them I was sorry that I went so crazy. That I am a bad mom when I do that. That I love them, and I know how it feels to have a parent go postal on you. They were cool. They tried to make me laugh, and we all acted like it was all cool. I do try to talk to the boys when I make mistakes, so hopefully I can give an example about how to apologize, or admit mistakes.

Boyfriend, now EXBF, tried to reach me online 3 times since the big ol bullshit stab in the back break up. I do not plan to acknowledge him at all until the day he gets paid. And then we can discuss what form of payment he would like to make. I hope he doesn't get gully and show up at my job or house. If he does, I know I will feel obligated to talk to him.

I'm wearing some new jeans today. They are 'distressed', and I feel kindof.. edgy in them. LOL

I was up in the middle of the night for a couple hours last night, talking to a guy on the phone. It was fun. Not sure if he needs a name, but if he does, he is crowned, "Mr. Universe".. cuz he is fiiioooonnnnneeee with really big muscles and a winning smile! LOL (I have met him in person recently, but that is a story for another time)

I feel weird without the "boyfriend" in my life. It means I am single and can do whatever I want. This is usually not a good thing because of the boundary issues I have had. I am planning to do a lot better this time around, and stick to my rules.. whatever those are going to be. LOL