WOW

That spat with the boyfriend yesterday has resulted in us taking a "break" per his request.

My first reaction was anger. then sadness. now acceptance. I went through these stages within a period of maybe 2hrs. I feel exhausted.

I'm already strategizing how to be happily single with no man attention, and not get myself into trouble. I have found myself to be one of those women who gets lonely and bored in a period of DAYS/WEEKS, and then meet new people, and get some drama going.

I don't want to do that this time, because that could turn this "break" into a "break up".

My understanding is that I hurt him when I told him he sounded like a "broken man". He also said I treated him like a child who's hand I am trying to hold, in regards to trying to give him some input.

I think ultimately, he is feeling overwhelmed by his life, and what i said yesterday set him off. I think his frusteration at his circumstances is unfairly being directed toward our relationship. I can't tell him what to do. Well, I can, but he doesn't give a fuck what I say.

So I guess I will give him SPACE SPACE SPACE and more SPACE. Either he misses me and reaches out to me, or he doesn't. If he doesn't. Well-you already know. He's not that into me.

I'm heart broken. I feel similar to how I felt the last time I had a serious break up. Like my whole life just changed and I need to figure out how to adapt to this.