BORED

I feel bored.

Babydaddy came over AGAIN. So, turns out we have nothing to talk about. There are SO MANY topics that we can't discuss, that it leaves us with nothing but awkward small talk, and long stretchy silences.

I suppose it's for the best. No need to be bonding all tight and shit. He has already lied to me a few times, and it is taking a lot of energy for me to not bring up that shit, and just recognize that IT DOESN'T MATTER. There is no point in discussing his lies. It will just cause him to lie MORE to TRY to convince me he wasn't lying in the first place. I don't want to walk down ANY ROAD with him that stirs up our fighting tendencies.

I think the more time I am spending around him, the more I am remembering how we don't work together. I mean honestly, we do NOT have anything in common except our kids. The only thing we had in common before was trying to get in each others pants, and with that gone.. shoot. We got nothin!

Ah well. It is making things more clear for me. It's almost like this is bringing me CLOSURE. I always felt like he left me. I was looking at him today thinking.. what a selfish bastard. Why didn't I leave HIM? Ok ok. He did bring over some formula and baby crap, that he had on hand for some odd reason. It's just.. if you really pay attention to this dude, he doesn't care what anyone is talking about. He is VERY self centered. He is only good for surface interactions. It's kindof creepy. He is NEVER deep. I find that sad.

Anyways, enough about that loser.

I miss my boo. I want to lay around with him and watch a movie, and just BE. But alas, I am stuck at home with my many children, and a little herb to keep me company. A decent substitute for actual companionship, but falls a bit short.